Humility, as a dispositional trait, has received a bad reputation over the years because it has been equated to low self-esteem, lacking confidence, and low self-worth. This could not be further from the truth. Humble professionals have a strong sense of confidence in their abilities which enables them to enable them to be willing to reach further, to comfortably test their assumptions and to recognize that their understanding might not apply to the local context.
Humility enables people to learn from others. People who are humble can comfortably ask questions, show vulnerability, and receive feedback without having these diminish their self-esteem or accomplishments. Cultural agile professionals use their humility from a position of strength, not weakness — and know how to engage in contextual humility in a culturally appropriate way.
Practice:
During this week you are going to try engage in three tasks, each involving specific phrases you will be trying. They are:
Practice asking for assistance. To learn from those in the cross-cultural environment, you need to have the skill to ask for help to build your understanding – while keeping your self-esteem intact. It will feel foreign, no pun intended, to ask for help and advice in another country or with those from another culture if this is not part of your regular behavioral repertoire. Recognizing that others have knowledge, skills, and abilities that that could help you does not diminish your ability or contribution. In fact, you are the sage one who knows how achieve a better outcome by harnessing the talents of others. Practice with a question, such as “Since you have deeper experience in [context], do you have any insight on …?”
Learn to praise. Praising others enables you to recognize that others have some knowledge, skill or ability that is excellent. This will be particularly important in a cultural context because, by definition, others will know more about how to succeed in the host culture. Practice offering sincere praise with the phrase “I admire your ability to…” or “It is impressive how well you…” Keep it real and make sure your praise is contextually appropriate (e.g., does not sound condescending or irreverent). Don’t be gratuitous (e.g., “I am impressed with how you did the dishes”, is a lousy use of this phrase).
Show appreciation. Actively showing appreciation for others’ role in your success is a skill that enables you to learn to share credit without diminishing your own accomplishment. Using a more generous communication of gratitude will foster an ability to acknowledge when and how others contribute to your success. Over time, you will see that being successful and showing gratitude for others’ role in your success are not mutually exclusive. This ability will be helpful when you are in another cultural context and can more comfortably let others in as cultural coaches. Write a note, an email, text — or even better CALL — someone who has had a pivotal role in your life and thank them for what they did, specifically, to make a positive difference. As with showing praise, make sure your appreciation is culturally and contextually appropriate (e.g., does not sound condescending or irreverent).
Essay (minimum of 750 words):
What was your experience asking for assistance? What did you do? Was it easy or difficult? Did it get easier over time?
What was your experience praising others? What did you do? Was it easy or difficult? Did it feel disingenuous at times? if so, how could you correct that?
What was your experience showing appreciation? What did you do? Were you specific enough?
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